Dear XXXX –

I saw your email. Don’t worry, I’m not mad. I can see why you would think I’m “inconsistent” and “not much of a team player.” I mean, that time I covered for your girlfriend when she had an emergency? Total selfish of me….and let’s not forget the fact that I only called out sick two times in the past 4 years…how inconsistent of me! So yeah, I get it. I’m sorry you feel that way, but that’s life, eh? I’m sure this store will be much better off without me. Good luck with everything.

XXXX

PS. I’m not coming in tomorrow, because fuck you.